Eye contact will tell you a lot as well. If they steal glances from the other side of the room when you think they aren’t looking, or they blush when they look at you, they could be interested! If they lean in when they talk to you, and they turn towards you when the two of you are sitting together, it’s a subtle sign they’re interested.
If they come up with a pet name or a nickname for you, it’s a big signal that they’re interested in your romantically. You might try referring to them as your “work boyfriend” or “history class wife” if the two of you spend a lot of time together. If they go along with it, that’s a huge sign that the feeling is mutual.
You could try poking fun at them in a competitive, flirty way and see if they play along with it. For example, if you work together, you might say, “I’m totally going to beat your sales numbers this quarter. Don’t worry, I’ll share the bonus with you!” If you’re at school, you might say, “Guess who’s getting a better grade than you on the upcoming test. You’re cute, but I’ve got the brains. ”
This may happen organically too, without either of you actively taking steps to make it happen. If you go to a group dinner and the two of you just magically end up being the last to leave because you’re just chatting it up all night, that’s huge!
Have the two of you shared secrets? People only open up about things they’re potentially embarrassed about around people they’re comfortable with.
Test the waters on this one by asking them a deeper question like, “What kind of parent do you think you’d be?” or, “Do you ever feel totally misunderstood?” If their answers are kind of boring and straightforward, it’s a red flag. If they pick up what you’re putting down and start digging into the question, it’s a good sign, though!
If you’ve never noticed anything like this, try getting them something tiny! If they’re a huge fan of the Chicago Bulls, get a little $2-3 Michael Jordan toy or something and give it to them. Say, “This reminded me of you!” If they blush, get super thankful, or get you something in return next week, they’re into you.
Even if you haven’t known your crush that long, you can still ask a friend if they could picture the two of you together. This is a simple way to rule out whether you’re being unrealistic or not.
If you’re confident in who you are and you don’t have a tendency to jump from relationship to relationship, it’s safe to say that you can trust your judgement on this one. Consider how long you’ve known this person. If it’s been a few months and your relationship has been developing steadily and slowly, there’s probably something there. If you just met last week, wait for a while! Are you a “hopeless romantic?” If so, you may be looking at things through slightly unrealistic lenses.
Think about the risk and reward here. If you continue pursuing this and it doesn’t work out, so what? It’s always worth taking the chance and going for it. If something really does feel “off” here, there probably is. Your brain and body have a funny way of letting you know that something is either too good to be true or not quite right.
This is an especially good way to explore your feelings if the two of you have just met.
You might say, “Hey, are you free this weekend? I was wondering if you’d want to go check out that new Peruvian restaurant that just opened up. We could make it a date!” You could also try something a little more open like, “Would you be interested in a date sometime? I’d love to hang out and spend some time together. ” You can tell they’d definitely say yes if they’ve mentioned how single they are around you. That’s a common signal that someone would be open to a relationship.
You could say, “I’m really sorry if this is forward and it’s totally okay if you don’t feel the same way, but I think I’ve got a bit of a crush on you,” or, “I really enjoy spending time with you, and I think you and I might really have something here. If you feel the same way, I’d love to explore it with you. ” This is functionally identical to asking them out on a date, but it may be easier for you if you kind of want to breach the topic slowly to see how they respond. If you’re scared to ask them out straight up, do this instead!
For example, you might say, “I’ve got an extra ticket to a play this weekend. I know you’re into theater, so I thought you might come along,” or, “You’re a Red Sox fan right? Want to catch the game at a bar after work?” This is a good option if you aren’t sure whether they like you or not. If they’re totally not into the idea of a date, you can always play it off like you were asking as a friend. If they are into it, you can let the night develop like a normal date!
